How to Help Your Child Recognize and Understand Disappointment Holt Boyd Podcast

How to Help Your Child Recognize and Understand Disappointment Holt Boyd Podcast - December 6, 2022 - LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe - Early Childhood Extension Educators

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• [0:00] Fit and Healthy Kids - An Early Childhood Podcast. (with music)
• [0:04] Hello from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
• [0:07] This is LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe,
• [0:09] Extension Educators in the field of Early Childhood.
• [0:13] We are here to talk about the littles in your life.
• [0:17] (LaDonna Werth) We all have disappointment at all stages of our life.
• [0:21] We hate to see our children struggle with disappointment so
• [0:25] how can we help our children with this feeling of disappointment?
• [0:29] (Lisa Poppe) Disappointment is a normal, though difficult, part of growing up.
• [0:33] Your child is likely to experience disappointment as she makes new friends,
• [0:37] tries new things and experiences the ups and downs of her world.
• [0:41] Whether it’s a trip to the park that is ruined by rain or
• [0:45] missing a birthday party, life is full of little and big disappointments.
• [0:49] (LaDonna Werth) Should we allow our children to feel disappointed?
• [0:53] (Lisa Poppe) Absolutely, when you allow your child to feel,
• [0:57] experience and learn from little disappointments at an early age,
• [1:02] you help her to create the skills she will need to successfully handle
• [1:06] the big disappointments she will experience later
• [1:09] in childhood and even as an adult.
• [1:12] (LaDonna Werth) What can I do to help my child with the feeling of disappointment?
• [1:16] Notice and label when you, your child or others are disappointed.
• [1:21] Explain that everyone, including adults, feel disappointment.
• [1:24] You might say: “I am disappointed,
• [1:27] Grandma was supposed to come for a visit but she is home sick.
• [1:31] I think I’m going to make her a Get Well card.” or
• [1:35] "You have tears in your eyes. I see you are disappointed.
• [1:38] You really wanted to go to the park but it is raining.
• [1:41] I wonder what else we can do on a rainy day like today?”
• [1:44] (LaDonna Werth) How can I practice ways to handle disappointment?
• [1:48] before a potentially disappointing incident occurs for my child?
• [1:52] (Lisa Poppe) Think about this, If you know your child will be disappointed
• [1:56] if someone else is on her favorite swing when you go to the park,
• [1:59] come up with appropriate solutions ahead of time.
• [2:02] You could say, “When we go to the playground,
• [2:06] someone else might be on your favorite swing.
• [2:09] You might feel disappointed. What could you do to stay calm?”
• [2:12] Come up with some solutions such as asking the child for a turn, saying please, or
• [2:17] bringing a shovel and pail to play in the sandbox while the other child is on the swing.
• [2:21] Encourage and teach problem solving with your child.
• [2:25] (LaDonna Werth) Can disappointment lead to anger with young children?
• [2:29] (Lisa Poppe) Yes! Disappointment can quickly lead to feelings of
• [2:32] anger if it is not acknowledged.
• [2:34] Simply acknowledge her feelings without overreacting.
• [2:38] “You really wanted the red cup.
• [2:40] Your sister has the red cup today.
• [2:42] Do you want the blue or the green one?”
• [2:44] You can also role model how small disappointments
• [2:46] can sometimes end up being positive.
• [2:49] For example, “I was so disappointed that the car was
• [2:52] getting fixed today but I ended up having so much fun with you.
• [2:56] It was a great day!”
• [2:57] (LaDonna Werth) Why is it important for parents to help their children recognize
• [3:01] and understand disappointment and problem solve?
• [3:05] (Lisa Poppe) The disappointment of not getting to wear the princess dress,
• [3:08] dropping the ice cream cone or not being first in line prepares
• [3:12] children to deal with life’s greater obstacles.
• [3:15] While tempting, it is not helpful for parents to try to keep their children
• [3:19] from feeling disappointment and have life always flow smoothly.
• [3:24] Parents can help their children so much more if they instead
• [3:27] teach them how to recognize and cope with all of their feelings.
• [3:32] Teach children how to cope with emotions instead of
• [3:35] expressing themselves with challenging behaviors.
• [3:38] (LaDonna Werth) Disappointment can be a healthy and positive,
• [3:41] although unpleasant emotion in young children.
• [3:45] Parents can help their children to recognize and cope with all of their feelings.
• [3:50] This has been LaDonna and Lisa with the University of Nebraska-Lincoln.
• [3:54] Until next time, enjoy your family time together.
• [3:58] (Music) Fit and Healthy Kids is a co-production of
• [4:01] Nebraska Extension, Georgia Extension,
• [4:03] Kansas State Extension, South Dakota State Extension,
• [4:06] and the Iowa Childcare Resource and Referral.