Why Children Do Not Follow Their Parents Directions - Holt Boyd Podcast

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Why Children Do Not Follow Their Parents Directions Holt Boyd Podcast - February 28, 2022 - Nebraska Extension Educators LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe

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Fit and Healthy Kids - An Early Childhood Podcast (with music).

(LaDonna Werth) - Hello from the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Nebraska Extension Educators LaDonna Werth and Lisa Poppe are here to talk with you about early childhood - what's new and what's happening and what's for you.

Do you ever get the feeling your children are not listening to you and everyone is upset with each other?

We hear parents say “Why do I have to repeat myself time and time again?” “Why doesn't she listen to me?” Listening and following directions are important skills young children must learn. There are many reasons why children do not follow directions. Lisa, what happens when the child does not hear the directions?

(Lisa Poppe) Well, parents often give directions from a distance or in passing. Like, “Lauren, get your shoes on.” Did your child actually hear what you said? Just as adults often don’t hear what their partner has said to them because they are focused on reading an email or talking on the phone, children too often don’t hear what a parent has said because they are focused on a task such as building a tower or drawing a picture.

(LaDonna Werth) What happens if the parent gives too many directions at one time?

(Lisa Poppe) When you give your child too many directions at one time, it reduces the chance that she will follow the directions and increases the chance that she will be confused. “Lauren, please go upstairs, brush your teeth and pick up your blocks while I finish the dishes.” This multi-step direction is too long and complicated for your child to easily understand. Instead, try giving only one direction at a time.

(LaDonna Werth) I hear parents giving suggestions instead of directions.

(Lisa Poppe) Daily conversation is filled with questions, suggestions and directions. When you say, “Will you put your shoes away?” you are not giving your child a direction—you are asking her a question. When you give your child a direction that needs to be followed, it is essential that you tell your child what to do rather than ask. For example, “Lauren, put your shoes by the door."

(LaDonna Werth) It sounds like it is very important to follow through when you give your child directions. A technique you can use to make sure you do follow through when your child has difficulty complying, or following directions is Do-WAWP method. Can you explain this to us Lisa?

(Lisa Poppe) Sure the Do-WAWP method goes like this:

» Do—State the “do” direction.

» W—Wait for compliance (silently count to 5).

» A—Ask the child to restate the direction.

» W—Wait for compliance (silently count to 5).

» P—Provide encouragement or help (helping will ensure success)

This is the Do-WAWP method that you can try at home.

(LaDonna Werth) Lisa what is the bottom line of giving directions with your children.

(Lisa Poppe) The bottom line is this you can increase the chances that your child will listen and successfully follow your directions when you make sure that your direction is clearly stated, and you follow through.

(LaDonna Werth) This has been LaDonna and Lisa with the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. Until next time enjoy your family time together.

Fit and Health Kids is a co-production of Nebraska Extension, Georgia Extension, Kansas State Extension, South Dakota State Extension and the Iowa Childcare Resource and Referral (with music).