HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

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HOW TO BE A GOOD LISTENER

Good listening skills help us get along with others, be better parents, and work better at our jobs. People who listen save time and seem smarter and and more understanding. These qualities can help us get better jobs. Listening is hard because so many things fight for our attention. The speaker and the listener must both work hard when communicating to make sure each one gets the message.

Have one conversation at a time. Listening to two things at one time means you can't hear or think about either one.
Let others finish talking. To listen well, you must stop talking. Don't interrupt or put words in the other person's mouth.
Don't be turned off by how others talk. Try to listen to wha a person says and not how he or she says it. It is easier to listen to some people that others.
Make sure you heard right. If you didn't hear or don't understand what someone said, have them say it again. Ask them to explain it.
Know what the other person wants. Ask yourself, Why are we talking? Is what they have to say important?
Watch body language. Body language is a person's gestures, tone of voice, body posture, and facial expressions. It may say more than words.
Listen to what the other person DOESN'T say. People don't like difficult situations. They may not look at you, use unnatural words, or pause a lot. if they do, ask questions to help them.
Don't let "red flag" or "hot button" words throw you. Some words such as gay, abortion, and so on can upset us. This stops us from listening. When you hear things that make you mad or upset, try to listen anyway.

Written material may be reprinted provided no endorsement of a commercial product is stated or implied. Please credit University of Nebraska Cooperative Extension and the Nebraska Health and Human Services System.

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Issued in furtherance of Cooperative Extension work, Acts of May 8 and June 30, 1914, in cooperation with the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Kenneth R. Bolen, Director of Cooperative Extension, University of Nebraska, Institute of Agriculture and Natural Resources.
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